As the number of days dealing with Covid approaches 475, I notice that many of the media and ‘influencers’ are attempting to spin to their followers the benefits and positive aspects of this pandemic. In the news today, an educator, was attempting to convey that she felt students received a ‘different’ type of education this year and that parents should not feel that the school year was a waste. One item listed on her bullet-point list of things that students learned was ‘appreciation of family and friends’. To my dismay, I didn’t think that it should take a pandemic to ‘teach’ this to students but I am discovering more and more that I am out of touch with the values that are taught to students. However, the following writing came from my father, David Ray Thayer during his 91st year on this Earth and demonstrates clearly that anyone who lived or visited his house could see clearly that family was a treasure to him. Though, he goes about getting to his point in a roundabout way, ultimately the ending is precious to me – and likely to my siblings, children and other family and friends. And I imagine that in my 91st year (if I live that long!), I will also have difficulty getting to the point too.
Excerpt from David Ray Thayer’s journal – handwritten on July 21, 2015
The frustration generated by Harriett’s absence after sixty-two years of marriage will be reflected in an attempt to write some thoughts ordinarily left unmentioned.
This effort grows from the fact that it occurred to me that my children might be surprised by the “look back”. This expectation grows from my awareness that prior to the WWII era, I was (a) much different Dave Thayer from the Dave Thayer of the current date in 2015.
I choose to indicate the extent of the change by describing some life events that occurred after my graduation from high school that might reflect a “Dad” much different from your perception of what Dad’s view of the culture is today.
A first exposure to college occurred in the fall of 1942 - at Indiana University in Bloomington. As an entering freshman, my weight was approximately 130 pounds (or less). I resided in a private rooming house, approximately 15 rooms in an upstairs - located approximately 3 blocks from the major college entrance which, at the time, was on the west side of the college.
All the renters were male college students. The rooms were above a bar and reflected a “problem occupancy” after a few weeks of living there, which resulted in a campus policeman tenant moving into the first room at the upstairs stairway entrance. This individual was not an educated and trained policeman, but certainly not a student. I mention this interesting beginning to suggest that the students in that facility did not reflect a college-managed dormitory but rather a group of male students (two per room) most all reflecting “low-level cultural experiences”.
The above seems enough said to indicate the cultural level of the students living therein, with maybe adding I was not bothered by the “social status” of my residence - but my acceptance probably indicated the fact that I was not intimidated by this and it did not make me feel misplaced.
After one semester I moved a few blocks to live alone and work in a family restaurant as a dishwasher.
Enough said about my beginning of college “living”, far removed from the residents of the fraternity facilities, etc. - except to mention that my first impression was that my co-inhabitants and I had little in common. This remained true until I moved out after one semester.
If I had attempted to estimate the effect of two semesters at I.U., an event at the end of semester number one would have been a good demonstration. The event was an unusual conference with one of my professors. I always arrived late for this particular professor’s class because when I had enrolled, I overlooked the fact that I had to walk from a preceding class across the campus - over ten city blocks. There was only ten minutes between classes, making it necessary to go down three stories of elevation to a location 10 blocks from this particular class. Of course this was impossible so I elected to explain to the professor that I must always be late for this accounting class but I would be as non-disturbing as possible. The instructor said to do my best and she would see how it progressed and make changes if they were necessary.
The entire semester passed, with me arriving late, missing the better part of half of the period but the professor made no further comment about the late arrivals. At the last class of the semester, the professor said to me “Remain after class this afternoon for a conference.” I assumed that she wanted to reprimand me regarding my late arrivals to her class and explain a docking/reduction of my grade as a result. Once the rest of the other students left, the professor began, “I want you to know that I am giving you an A+ in this course. I have never given an A+ before to any student in my more than 20 years of teaching. I do not know whether the administration will record an A+ grade but in your case it is clear to me that you have earned an A+. I have never taught any student who is such a student as you. You never make a mistake or have an omission. I realize this comment from me is unusual but you are an unusual student. I wish you good luck and if I can ever be of help, please let me know.”
As I ponder the above commentary, I am not certain of its effect on my adult children - perhaps it would be best to not send such an unusual message.
I now elect to introduce my children to me at age 18 - this recital of a transition in lifestyle reflects approximately 1-1/2 years prior to entering the Navy Air Corp. The Navy period of time was approximately 2 years of training and a great personal adjustment. To recall this period requires a review of a different existence in which no personal control is possible nor is it expected or even allowed to be desired!
Adapting to military “survival”, led me to be a “loner”. That is to say, “never seek to be a cadet leader”. Never being a leader may appear to be inappropriate however in the military, it allows one to be “no problem to the officers”. Earning high academic scores should be sought but ‘rank’ is to be avoided during training periods.
The above-convoluted comment is offered to reveal that I viewed the military as an unknown entity in which being a leader was to be avoided. I never changed my mind in this view and never tried-out to be appointed a Cadet officer. My observation of this isolation from leadership by choice lasted the entire 2-year duration in the military.
When viewed from my present age of 91 years, I am led to the belief that my family members have experienced considerable perplexity in this long evolvement through my life.
Upon finding the present comment to be perplexing more than informative, I will end this effort in the hope to make your life events understandable other than to make my view of our “family role” is the absolute “High Point” of my life!