As Father’s Day approaches, it seems appropriate to share a story about Leonard Thayer, my paternal grandpa. Leonard and his wife, Sarah had six children, 5 boys, 1 girl – all born between the years of 1915 and 1926. They lived on an active farm, referred to as ‘the home place’ and in addition to farming, Grandpa was also the county auditor and trustee during his lifetime. Grandma was a teacher before she became a mother. Both would have been considered leaders in the small community where they lived.
Grandpa and Grandma were faithful church-going people, believed in peace and avoiding war, but WWII was front and center in the world and was giving them cause for doubt. Should they encourage their family to participate? Would there be a forced participation if volunteers didn’t step up and commit to defend the country and democracy. Ultimately through much prayer, Grandma and Grandpa realized there was no other option. Their support of the war was essential, including acceptance that their sons and daughter would likely be participating. During WWII, four of their children signed up to participate in the war. Sons, Tom and Dick both joined the Air Corp (now Air Force), Dave joined the Navy and Mary Alice became a nurse, assisting in the cause. The oldest, Orrin Dodd, was already married with children and a practicing pastor and the youngest Lynn, was too young at the time but was intending to enlist when he could.
Fast forward to 1944. The war was had been raging for several years at this time and Dick and Tom were both seeing action, Tom in northern Africa and Dick in Germany. Worry and stress became a part of the Thayer family’s daily life – wondering if Tom and Dick were safe. Was progress being made toward a peaceful end to the war? The stress hit a climax for Grandma and Grandpa when they received a telegram in April/1944, informing them that Dick was MIA (Missing in Action). The plane that Dick had been in - The Passionate Witch II was shot down on March 28, 1944 at high noon. As expected, the whole family was worried, fearful that Dick was dead. Grandpa’s erratic and unusual behaviour indicated that he thought about Dick and his circumstances constantly. Neighbours would find Grandpa in their barns in the early morning, an indication that he had not slept and just couldn’t come to grips with the news that Dick was missing and might be dead. Grandpa was already grieving, fearing the worst. They were informed that a couple of parachutes had opened as the plane was falling but no one knew to whom those chutes belonged. Grandpa was angry – went to the Bartholomew County courthouse, cursing President Roosevelt for killing his son. Family and friends worried that Grandpa was so upset that he might commit suicide or take some other crazy act. This was such a different attitude for Grandpa. He had always showed a ‘cock-eyed optimist’ type of attitude but this unknown threat to his family was more than a plucky attitude could overcome.
After five to six months of complete agony of ‘not knowing’, the Germans allowed Dick to write two letters home to communicate that he was alive. The Germans redacted any information that they chose to remove. Dick wrote one of the two letters to Grandma and Grandpa and one letter to his girlfriend, Evelyn Miller, who later became Dick’s wife, known to the family as Aunt Ebby. On the day that the letter arrived, Ebby’s father, picked up the letter and saw that it was from Dick so he opened it! Seemed like the right thing to do, right? So many of the community were invested in Dick and his survival. The letter contained the phrase, ‘behind barbed wire in Austria’ and also news that he had been captured, was getting enough to eat, playing a little basketball and that he had also written a letter to his parents to notify them that he was alive. Ebby’s father proceeded to share the news and the content of the letter with all of the people and merchants on the town square. The community celebrated the news and finally the news was delivered to Ebby. Ebby wasn’t surprised to hear and read that Dick was alive. She had not waivered in the belief that Dick had survived. But obviously relieved to read the news, Ebby said, “I’m going out to give the news to Mr. and Mrs. Thayer and make sure that they know that Dick is alive and that they are getting a letter too”.
Ebby went right out to the home place farm and found Grandma, preparing lunch and showed her the letter. Grandma was so happy and asked if she could keep the letter so that Grandpa could read the letter for himself. Ebby certainly agreed and left. Grandma knew that Grandpa was out in the field, working on a tractor, so she went right out with the letter to share the news with Grandpa. Grandpa saw Grandma hurriedly making her way across the field toward him, waving the letter over her head. Grandpa idled the tractor down, put it in park but left the tractor running. She reached Grandpa, said, “Leonard, Leonard!, Dick’s alive, Dick’s alive!”and handed him the letter. Grandpa read the letter, and then said “I’ll be in to eat soon”, handed the letter back to Grandma. She was puzzled and worried about Grandpa’s reaction but turned and made her way back to the house. As she walked, she noticed that the idling of the tractor never changed, Grandpa had not gotten back on the tractor. Wondering if Grandpa was okay, she quickly turned back to look and check to make sure that Grandpa was okay. As she approached the area where the tractor continued to idle, she saw Grandpa had gone over to a log that had been rolled to the edge of the field. He was on his knees, leaning against the log, weeping and heaving with tears and sobs of relief that Dick was alive, thanking the Lord for saving Dick. Grandma was thankful that Grandpa could have his own time to process the news that Dick was alive – especially since Grandpa really thought Dick was dead. She turned and returned to the house and finished preparing lunch. Grandpa came in for lunch and they ate as normal as any other day and this showed Grandma that Grandpa was now okay.
After the news sunk in for a time, Grandpa began to make plans for Dick’s escape from the prison, through the French underground tunnel, contacting Senators and anyone who would listen and that he felt might have influence to get his son home. The escape never happened but Dick came home a few months after the family got the news.
Grandpa was a father during an era when men didn’t exhibit their emotions freely. They were to be strong and brave, accepting life and its many challenges. For many men, showing emotion is still a no-no, unless of course it’s anger. That is unfortunate as I feel that Grandpa’s demonstration of love for his family could have made a difference, if all knew that was who he really was and how he really felt. I know that my Dad loved me but I never ever heard him say it. Did it affect me? Maybe? It always gave me doubt of my worth, of my value to him, to our family and that translated into my self-worth as well. But as a result, I have made a point of letting those that I love KNOW that I love them. I don’t get embarrassed by making those emotional statements because I know how that statement of love can be translated. Could mean a lot more than just love.
Hope all fathers appreciate the joys and challenges of fatherhood. Thanks to my Dad for his many strengths, gifts and his love, spoken or otherwise.