As I struggled to find my ‘place’ after graduation, I remember how lost I felt as I graduated, failed and tried to figure out what I should do next. With this in mind, I provide the following encouragement to graduates, hoping that success and joy are a part of their continued journey.
Dear Graduate and Reader:
“All who wander are not lost”—this is a line from Lord of the Rings written by J.R. Tolkien. Is this statement true? Did they wander from the truth and into a very bad place?? Did they wander into a lovely meadow and just have a picnic???
I think it is true that all who wander are not lost. But I think it is also true that some who have wandered far may be very lost. If you find yourself “wandering” in your thoughts, words or actions, how do you keep from getting lost or keep from forgetting the way back???
You may find yourself “strolling down memory lane” as you graduate. Thinking of past friends and events—both good and bad. You may find yourself “cruising the strip” where other young adults are looking for activities or people to “wander with”. You may find yourself “floating” in time—waiting for the next job, next class, next opportunity, next activity. You may find your self tempted to “stray” into new territory—new friends, new activities, new thoughts and ideas.
None of these versions of “wandering” are bad in and of themselves. It depends on where you go in your wandering and where you end up at the completion of your wandering. “Wandering” in this fast pace world is not often seen as a positive activity. You may find this to be particularly true right now in your life—your life as a new graduate.
You are probably being asked at least ten times a day by family, friends and maybe complete strangers: “Well what is next for you? What do you plan to do now that you have graduated? Where are you going to college? Where are you applying for jobs?” and on and on and on. So many questions, so many new experiences—am I really expected to know all the answers OR is this a crossroads in my life with many many possible answers? Can’t I just rest for a while or wander for a while???
I think the answer is yes. But I think you must put a time limit on the “resting and wandering”. Not all who wander are lost BUT some of the truly lost wandered too long or too far from what they knew to be good and right.
This is truly a pivotal time—a cross road in your life but not the only one you will experience. You will have other big moments—when you rent your first apartment or house, when you buy your first car or house, when you marry or decide not to marry, when you have children or decide not to have children, when you begin a “career” and not just a job, when you face terrible pain from loss of a loved one or position you love, when you have to make tough decisions that mean the possible loss of a friendship or relationship. Pivotal times (crossroads) require clear thinking and strength. At pivotal times (crossroads) the path of your life and the path of others will change—it may be that “wandering” or “floating” at the pivotal times (crossroads) will not be a good choice.
You may think you are now the boss of YOU. Are you going to be a good boss or a lousy boss? This is a question to consider.
I encourage you to give every situation—new or old—careful consideration each day. A good boss carefully considers who is hired, what job each employee is to do and evaluates that employee’s performance—daily. If you are the boss of YOU, then you are also the employee of YOU. Each day carefully consider your words, actions, and decisions. If after thinking back on the day you honestly believe your performance was good then repeat that performance again the next day. If however, after thinking back on the day you know that you cheated the Boss (you) or did not perform in a way that you are proud of, learn from this experience, determine to change, and remember to ask for help to improve your performance.
As I write this letter I am “strolling down my own memory lane”—my wanderings. When I was first Boss of me I failed miserably. I failed at my first job because I was “wandering” in my pride and arrogance. I refused to ask anyone for help. I finally “wandered” home embarrassed and guilty because I had wasted my time and my parents’ money in a college degree that I was not going to use. What made it worse was that my best friend was very successful at her new career—while mine had disappeared in failure. I was not “cruising”—I had crashed and burned. I felt that I was only suitable for a junk yard.
When I was at my lowest, my saddest, my darkest I began to remember truths that I had “wandered away from”. Things that were taught to me by my family and church in grade school and high school:
God created me for a purpose. He has a plan to prosper me. Jeremiah 29:11.
God says in Isaiah 43:18-19: “Forget about what has happened. Don’t’ keep going over all history. Be alert, be present. I (God) am about to do something brand new. It’s bursting out!! Don’t you see it? There it is! I am making a road through the desert and rivers in the badlands.
God says in Jeremiah 16:6a: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your soul.”
Proverbs 3:6 says: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not own your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.” (no more wanderings—straight)
2nd Corinthians 5:17 says: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
When things get tough, don’t fall in a heap. Cry out to God and seek out other believers—perhaps at a church or just a neighbour that has a relationship with God. God and His followers are always near.
If all else fails, contact me—a friend of your parents or just a Believer that remembers the struggles from so long ago and how welcome the help of other Believers kept me in one piece.
With prayers for you of peace, joy and strength in the Lord,
Your Friend, Sister in Christ and former Wanderer
Joyce Thayer-Sword
thayerthoughts.com
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